[RainyInGA]

LOL, sorry JLyle got me going!

THE ADOPTION PREGNANCY TEST

FINDING A TEST
:When deciding what agency to obtain a test at, read small print clearly. Do not believe it when they say you will have a baby within 6 months. Also do not believe the test if it says for sure it can predict the sex.

-Bring a lot of $$$ (take out a second mortgage if applicable) The test is not cheap, nor for the faint of heart.

-For best results, it is best not to consume large amounts of alcohol before taking the AP test. It could affect your future decision making. & may come back to haunt you ( criminal background check) especially if you do this in public.
-A wise course of action is to not tell your collegues at work, best friend's mom, carpool or especially your family, until you are sure of the final results.(see first point) -In several clinical cases it was also proven best, not to even tell your DH that you are taking the test. Turns out some men have a low threshold to watching their DW suffer severe symptoms of disappointment, shot down dreams & being misled & uninformed.

-Due to the nature of this AP procedure, it may be necessary to perform multiple tests.Repeated testing may continue over an extended period of time. Be prepared to put your life on hold as you wait for said results. Do not plan to attend any important function, vacation, event, family reunion or sister's wedding during the testing period. Going to work during this time is permissible & even advisable, however, be aware of serious side effects occuring that may cause others to question your health & sanity. ( if this happens, simply pull out your notarized, appisealed, triplicate copy of the 8 doctor form, along with your current psyc report) Caution: DO NOT LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THIS!

- TEST RESULTS MAY VERY, and may include, but are not limited to:
-Sporadic, unnecessary, out of the blue, changes of actual arrival date.
- Sudden changes in laws, requirements & general hoops, causing updated & costly paperwork along with intense panic attacks.
-Physical ailments. Bouts of confusion, depression, anxiousness,overwhelm... a feeling of isolation, despair, fear of the unknown,upset stomach, marital strife & insomnia. Severe cases have been known to cause MUSHROOM-ITIS. A serious symptom related to the growth of large mushrooms that are kept in the dark & fed manure.

READING YOUR TEST:
When the line turns blue or sometimes red, this means you are indeed going to adopt soon. Congratulations!
Sometimes one of the 6 lines on the test is known to turn lime green which deems the test invalid. Should you experience a shade of pale blue, this could mean you might be adopting soon . OR NOT.
A hue of PURPLE dictates that there are changes, hold-ups & or general misinformation that may cause further undue delays.

-DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES!
This is best left to GOD Himself who is the only one who knows the actual end result.

- Keeping a diary/blog of the used test, is a creative way to make the test a great souveigner when the process is done.
DO NOT REUSE THE SAME TEST-results are only good for a few days & may change drastically.

WARNING! Proceed with caution when sharing your test with others as their experience may radically differ!

GOOD LUCK!
RAIN