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hi,
as an amom in a very open domestic adoption, I have no idea what to do here esp. without knowing which country/culture. much depends on whether you can find out info without revealing bmom's secret. your goal, to talk/get a message to her, comes from a good place. Maybe you can hire a private investigator to track her down, without revealing the why, then decide what to do. You may decide to contact her or to wait until later. I suspect the trail will get colder as time passes, but at least you'll have some info from which to work.
I wish you luck,
Lisa
__________________
-first time amom to dd, born 7/7/04
-placed in our arms by a very loving bmom 7/9/04
-bfather's rights terminated 9/7/04
-just connected with bdad!!! 2/9/05
-visited bfamilies for a week, awesome trip 6/05
-bfather signed legally binding open adoption
agreement 7/05
-finalized (woohoo!) 18th of November 2005
-Thinking about adoption #2!
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