[Jackiejdajda]

I knew nothing about my bson for 35 years.. I kept my secret about him for about 21/22 years.. At that time I thought maybe he would be searching for me so I wanted to make sure I was available.. but then I had to tell the telling..
It took me some time.. and it took me some therapy etc..

I know of one amom who allowed her preteen (I am pretty sure that is the age) to search for his birthmom in a country that is like the country you are describing..
The birthmom refused contact.. The young man apparently was okay.. and I do not think he was overly hurt by the incident.. but what of the birthmom???.. That is what I thought..

She knows she has refused contact with her young birthson.. She knows she has probably hurt him and I bet she worried..(please note these are my memories of what someone else wrote.. and posted)
Obviously she has hidden the birth.. etc.. or she would have connected with him.. I do not know how I would have handled a contact when my bson was pre teen.. I may have freaked and said no.. At that point I had just told my husband.. my sister did not know.. My mom and dad were still powerful in my life.. they had control.. in some ways..
(they wanted the secret kept)

Sooooo to make a long story short.. I say.. maybe leave it alone till the child is older.. I could handle the secret keeping.. Another birthmom in another thread said similar.. she said.. that it was almost easier not talking about the relinquished son or daughter..
I do not know the right way to handle any of this.. but I also say.. be careful with someone very young..

Jackie..