"Anyway, they have a four month old boy and we have dd who is 2 months. Any time we get together, I feel like they are trying to get us to compete in a contest. Ex: "Ooooh, she's not doing (insert whatever here) yet??? DS started doing that way younger than she is."
I think it might come from some insecurity, but I just can't get over the fact that she is talking about what a younger-than-two-month-old was or was not doing. What on earth do they do?! Sure, I'll admit to being amazed by everything ds did, from following light with his eyes to finding his feet, but I seem to remember that there was no competition involved and that all my sister and I ever talked about when my ds and her dd were that age was poop. Maybe if you steer the conversation that way, she'll get the hint. "I don't know about your son doing x, but you should see how dd poops!" Or you could say, "I'm convinced. He's a genius."
You could tell them next time they get on your case that it is well known that children who sleep in their parents' bed and are picked up when they cry are smarter. Who needs a study? Those who do more attachment parenting can tell you our children are geniuses
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Or you could skip them all together while they get over themselves . . .
Your daughter is darling and such a miracle. Enjoy this time marveling at her.