I've been doing so much soul searching over what to do about S over the past week... it's been such a struggle to make the decision. 90% of the time she's wonderful.. 5% of the time she does the rotten things every 6 yr old does
and finally 5% of the time she does things that just downright scare me.
Waiting home.. the sw thinks placement in a therapeutic home will be best for her. S is responding to consistency and boundaries. The problem with our home is that she has targets (our pets and more recently her sister) for the anger she's feeling about her situation. I "get" what's wrong with her and I feel deeply for her. I do care about her. I realize that what she's been thru would make life tough on ANY child.
She was doing the absolute best (which could have been honeymoon period as well) when I was staying home from work. (I took three weeks off when they were placed.) With CONSTANT supervision and CONSTANT direction, we have seen improvement. Constant meaning the only time I was out of sight was bathroom visits. Unfortunately, that high of a level of supervision is not what we can do right now. We can't even leave her alone in another room to play if we want to cook a meal because she'll hurt the pets and as of late, her sister.
I'm always afraid to turn my back for a minute because she seems to wait for the opportunity to do something and then goes after the pets.. which is downright scary to me. You can actually sit back and watch her stalking the pets and keeping track of where they are in the room. Our family room is on a lower level and I've turned around on the stairs and seen her do a beeline to the cat or dog as soon as she thinks the coast is clear.
Also, the level of pain she's inflicting is increasing. Our black lab actually had to growl and nip at her on Friday to get her off of him. DH had went outside to get J and walked into S having her arms around the neck of our lab, turning and twisting his ears. He was whining and crying and then finally snapped at her b4 DH got to her to get her off.
And part of me says.. maybe she KNOWS how much the pets mean to me and maybe she's inflicting the pain on them to get at ME. I just dunno.
As for doing our best.. we're constantly searching for ways to help her. But we are first time parents. Our sw actually commented how wonderfully we're doing with the girls considering the issues we've been dealing with... I'm just at the bottom of my talent bucket and don't think I have the training, time, and experience this precious girl needs.