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Disrupting ...
... is the most heartwrenching of feelings ... but if (and I believe you are correct!) necessary it is something that you must not change your mind on. Sometimes a "match" no matter how perfect it seems just doesn't work out ... and you may never know why she reacts with violence towards your pets, other children, yourself or even herself - something just is not working and may need escalated professional care to resolve and will most likely be a long-time/long-term evolution.
So - what you are feeling is normal and the grief that will follow is normal too - just take it one day at a time, one step at a time ... and whatever you do - share with your family your feeling - talking helps even when painful ... and don't change your mind - many in your shoes let guilt decide to "give it one more try" ... and I think you have done that ... it is ok ... even when it feels it's not right now.
Keep posting - and know those of us here who have experienced this first hand can help and guide you ... when you are ready!
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