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Aura, I'm sure your letter is absolutely wonderful. You sound so kind and so concerned for your b-mom. I don't think there's any way you could say anything hurtful.
You really are going to have people around you who understand what all your emotions are - that is so wonderful.
If you feel comfortable with your SIL delivering that letter, go for it. Just keep in mind, you'll probably have to do some more waiting - YUK! Hang in there - we'll wait with you.
MKW
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