[AngelsMommy]

I'm new here but need some advice. Quick rundown: My husband and I have 2 daughters ages 7 1/2 and almost 10. We've been trying to have more for almost 4 years.. unexplained infertility. We are both more than willing to adopt a healthy child under 3, but aren't ready to tackle the major costs involved with stranger-adoption. Both girls have been begging/praying for at least 2 more siblings for the entire time we've been trying to conceive. Our family is all white european descent, as well as our entire extended family with the exception of my brother's Korean wife.

My sister is the youngest of 6 children, and just turned 22. She is in the Marine Corps currently but with recent events she may be discharged (not honorably). She has never been married and has an 11 month old daughter. She was engaged to the father, got pregnant on purpose, then told the father she had miscarried and wanted to break it off. I don't know the father (she was on a base at the time) but I do know he is unaware of the baby. He was also white european descent. My sister transferred to a base near my parents during her pregnancy.. my parents were unhappy about the pregnancy but bent over backwards to help her in every way (made it too easy imo). When the baby (girl) was 7 months old my sister moved in with a guy she just met. He is a black man (hence bi-ethnic baby) also a Marine, and we recently found out not only does he have 3 children he "claims" (5,4,18mo), he is still married and the mother recently went to prison. He is "cheating" on my sister and she decided 2 months a go not to be with him and applied for base housing. She has told us she is afraid of him, etc, but she refuses to move back in with my folks until housing comes thru, etc. She caught him several times with the new hunny and still managed to get pregnant after that, even though she said she was done with him.

My parents want her to abort the baby, she went to get one and backed out last weekend. She is about to kicked out of the military, has no education, has maxed out her credit cards, and can barely care for the baby she has now. My parents will take her and the 11 month old home with them again (though she is still saying she doesn't want to come home), but they will not take in another baby or help her thru another pregnancy other than putting a roof over her head. They also refuse because they don't want her current baby to have bi-ethnic sibling problems on top of the "2 babies with 2 daddies in 2 years" problem. She will have to give it up for adoption if she wants my parents help. The bio father says he won't claim it, doesn't want anything to do with her or "it" and she better get rid of "it."

Okay...so if she gives birth and follows thru with adoption... should my husband and I offer to adopt the baby? We don't mind the bi-ethnicity at all, but it is a concern as to how we would deal with those issues having thus far been entirely white european. It won't be able to pass for "ours" so we'll likely get questioned repeatedly. It is doubtful the baby will appear just one ethnicity since my sister is about as fair and freckled as you can get and he is very dark. We are also concerned about how my parents will take to the baby if it is "ours" in a stable married home, vs her situation, and as to whether that would be a happier result with the extended family.

Help?