[BrandyHagz]

Timni,

Another thing to remember is, while you do have first hand experience of loss, as so many people do, the loss she will be feeling will be different from yours. In a sense, your loss (and I am NOT trying to trivialize it, far from it) has finality and closure, there is no “unknown” and while I do agree, that you will both be experiencing the “what could have beens” she will also be experiencing the loss on a different level. Loss of her ability to parent the child while someone has that ability is one of the key ones.

Again, I am not trying to trivialize your loss, I have experienced pregnancy loss as well as well as fertility issues, and the pain I feel from the placement of my daughter nine years ago is much different than the pain I feel from my other losses (pregnancy, still birth, infertility and the like).

Just remember, you cant actually say, “been there done that” in this regard…although you can speak in regards to general pain of loss and the fact that it never goes away, as you said above…that is very real for both situations.