[Dobby]

I found that when I wanted to purchase something for the baby or house that was baby-specific, people kept saying, "but you don't know how old/what size/right color" etc. A friend of mine called periodically and said, "let's buy stuff for the baby!" And we'd go walk through baby stores. Not even necessarily to buy big things, but she knew that I needed to keep getting little items to make it seem real.

Same thing went for the shower idea - no one in my family wanted to throw a shower until we returned home, yet there was so much we needed in the house to start off with (first child). My friend coerced my SIL to throw a shower between trips. We registered for "neutral" things (crib sheets, books, videos, colorful toys, diaper stuff, the list went on and on!). Some in my family later said that the shower finally made the adoption idea "real" to THEM too. Although, some people are superstitious about having showers until after they return. We figured, we needed the stuff anyway no matter if we lost our referral or not.