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Welcome, Maralee!
I am an adoptive mother and an adoptee, so I have no direct experience relating to your situation, but there are lots of great folks here on the forums that do and I am sure will be glad to share their experiences.
To answer your question about not using an agency - no, you do not need to work with an agency. You can do what is called an "independent" (was called "private" back when I was born in the early 70s) adoption. Yes, you will need to have a lawyer to represent YOU, along with a separate lawyer that represents the adoptive parents.
As far as the level of openness/contact you wish to have once your baby is born, that is entirely up to you and the adoptive parents. We spent time talking with our daughter's birthparents and wrote out an open adoption agreement together. These are legally binding in some states and not in others, but ought to be morally binding in any event. When you are talking to prospective adoptive parents, be clear and firm about your wishes, because YOU are your own strongest advocate. I'm glad to read that your family is supportive of you now - that is important.
So, welcome, please feel free to ask any questions you mgiht have, and if there is anything you're not sure about, you can always ask me or one of the other moderators (Kiwi, Crick, BrandyHagz, Jensboys, Support2Adopt). We're here to help!
Cheers!
Heather
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