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Also, understand that although to you a referral might just be a picture and some basic data on a piece of paper - to them it's their child. They are officially paper pregnant. If that child is lost, for whatever reason (we lost one to birth parent, and another to a terrible illness), it is a miscarriage. We lost our second daughter AFTER meeting her, and I was amazed that my 'best' friend just said, oh, sorry you are having problems with your adoption. WHAT?!?!? My daughter, who I have been carrying in my heart for 9 months is dying! I was shocked at her response.
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