[LisaCA]

we actually turned down a few: a set of twins (dh freaked ), a young boy, 5 months old with possible cerebral palsy issues, and a newborn (bad timing for us), all within a month. Dd's match came along shortly thereafter.

the advice we were given by our facililtator was: "there will be other babies; don't feel that you have to say yes to a situation because you fear it will be the last baby." So we went with our gut. We also made the decision to only go forward with a match if both of us were 100% on the match, which is what led to the "no" to the twins and to the baby with possible cerebral palsy issues. I was willing, dh had doubts. I still worry about the one with palsy issues- i think about him often.

our agency was fine, as well as our facilitator. In fact our faciltator knew how difficult this decision was and she told me to go shopping and buy something for myself (she knew I believed in shopping therapy). they knew we were strong willed (at least i was, dh is a bit of a softie) and knew what was best for our family. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise-you know your family better than anyone. It's hard, and you do wonder if you'll ever get a baby, but the situation that is right for you will come about.