Rhonda,
I do understand how you feel, I went through similar feelings particularly when I knew my son was 18 so could search for me off his own accord. Over your thoughts about being ready for reunion I don't think any of us are whether we are birth mothers or adoptees. I know I wasn't particularly as I didn't expect to find my son and naively thought I would either receive a letter from him or from an intermediary first. What made our reunion more complicated was that my son had found my family shortly after starting his search. It's a long story why they didn't tell him where I was or tell me they had contact with him.
It is impossible to know when your daughter will be ready to want to have contact/meet you as all adoptees are different and their home lives are completely different. Although my son searched from the age of 18 I don't think he was really prepared for the impact of reunion would have on his life. He was also relatively young for a male adoptee to be searching.
I remember the first time I met my son and all I wanted to do was hug him but held back. We had already been building on our relationship which included telephone calls. Once we got over the initial awkwardness it was great just to be ourselves although I did get a bit tearful with some photographs he gave me. One was of him as a young baby and it brought memories flooding back of me holding him in hospital. I had an infection so only got to spend time with him on one day before being discharged from hospital. At that point he hugged me and it was such a special moment, I didn't want to let go but of course I did. It did bring us even closer together and more relaxed. We did get to meet a couple of times after that but my son went to Canada (I'm in the UK) in December to go to university. We still have regular contact and will meet up again when he comes back to the UK
Pip
