[votemom]

If it is the waiting period (before they actually get to go meet their child, i.e. first trip), I think it's great to take an interest in all that they are talking about. Listen and ask questions. It's a whilrwind of emotions during this time of anticipation. Definitely don't second-guess them or say things that give them doubts. (Note: unless you SERIOUSLY doubt their ability to be a parent! Then, I think you have an obligation to ask some direct questions - to do a reality check with them.)

If it is the time BETWEEN trips, let them know that you care and you are thinking/praying. Also let them know that you want to hear of any developments that they have. But don't ask constantly, "have you heard anything?!" Believe me, if they have heard anything, they will let you know. Perhaps an occasional card of encouragement, or going out for coffee. This time to waiting is excruciating - especially right now with the state of affairs in Russia.

If it is AFTER they come home with their child, ask them if they need help and specifically what they need. Let them know that you are available (if you are) and that you honestly want them to call if they need help, someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on.

I think providing several frozen meals is a wonderful gift. If no family is around, perhaps offer to have their house keys so that you can water plants, etc., and have the fridge stocked with some fresh food upon their return.

It is completely exhausting to travel back and forth from Russia to the U.S. It's possible that they will pick up a bug from the food/water there. They will be wiped out and really need time to physically recover. Plus they will be on emotional overload. Respect their need for time alone with their child. Again, let them know that you want to come visit when they are ready. They will let you know when it's time.

If you can afford it, a wonderful gift would be to have a cleaning service come a couple of weeks after they are home (with their permission, of course). If you cannot afford that, perhaps pair up with another friend and come over and just clean the bathrooms and change the bedding. During the child's naptime would be good.

Most of all, listen and encourage. Only give advice if you really sense it's desired.

Sounds like you are a wonderful friend by even planning how you can be helpful!