[pdq]

This is such a tough topic! I know that it happens, though, and not just in Kazakhstan. Sometimes the local judges will deny an adoption based upon the income of the adoptive family (too low) &/ possibly the mood of the judge that particular day (very rare). I also know of families (one was there when we adopted) that changed their minds about the adoption after meeting the child.

I think all adoptive parents need to keep their expectations of their child in perspective. They may not seem "normal" in the sense of what we perceive as being "normal" for a child in the US - at least not first on. Their culture, language, dress, etc is quite different from us. They have been subjected to life living in an orphanage. Its almost as if they are living a life completely opposite of our own.

Its possible that your sister and her husband had too high of expectations from the moment they met their potential child. Maybe they realized they were getting themselves into a situation that they didn't feel comfortable handling for the long-haul. Maybe there was a problem with their paperwork. Maybe the child had an undisclosed medical condition that was not apparent before they traveled.

Either way - this is exactly why the Kaz government requires adoptive families to visit and interact with the children for 2 wks before going to court. The Kaz government is just as concerned about something like this happening as we are. They want to make sure the children will bond and be loved by their adoptive parents. I can say with all honestly that the caretakers in our children's orphanage were watching and listening to us all the time during our visits. They want to make sure we establish a good relationship with the children before going to court. Also, the asst director of the orphanage (in our case) had to go to court to testify on the orphanage's behalf that we had started developing good relations with our children.

I have no idea how often something like this happens, but I know it does occasionally happen. Keep in mind, when we adopted the first time, we were given a tour of the orphanage. My husband and I went to visit the 3 yr old group. There was one particular little boy that came right up to my husband (first time he ever saw him) and said, "DaDa?" Its such a shame, but even a 3 yr old understood what happens when a new mommy and daddy come to the orphanage. All the children are hoping for this to happen to them. This same little boy did the same thing with another couple that was there the same time we were.

The only reason I know of that a family was denied an adoption based upon their income happened quite recently. Several families were hoping to adopt 2 children. Their facilitator in Kaz strongly suggested they only apply to adopt one child. That's what they did. They just adopted one, instead of two. I believe this may just be agency-related. We adopted 2 children at once and had no problems. I don't know of any couples denied adoptions based upon income that used the same agency that we did.

Please let us know what happened with your sister if possible. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

Pat