[BMTexas]

Even today I still do it. I start thinking about how "bad" I was treated, how I was coerced into the decision, my lack of support in those days, how I was belittled, humiliated, etc. etc. , my youth and lack of understanding- all that stuff. Before long I find myself crying, reliving the whole
thing, withdrawn, and unable to relate properly to my family of seven(with five children).

But you know something??? It really doesn't matter now. I still made the decision and I have to live with my decision no matter how unfair it was.

It seems sometimes I did better those first years with letting go, getting on with my future. But now that year eighteen is approaching faster and faster, I sometimes find myself basking in the whole memory, and that's not
good.

I have to keep reminding myself that the past is the past. Yes, I did it, but life still has to continue IN THE
PRESENT. One of my biggest mistakes is not staying in
the present.

just wanted to share,
Rhonda