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Looking For her face?
I know I suffer greatly from feelings of rejection and abandoment but can't get the feelings to come to the surface. I know all about the words and read about the stuff but just can't feel the stuff. I sit in my Therapists office and find that I have wandered of into space, only to be brought back to earth with my Therapists usual question of "What you looking for?" I normally shake my head and reply "Dunno". I think the unconsious me is still looking for her. Dam I've never met my birt mother but seem to have such an incredible cord connection that needs cutting! My body memory is still stuck in 1962! I wish I could just get the dam process over with and feel the grief and loss and move on. Why am I so stuck? Am I looking for her when I wander of? LIke a motor inside of me that has a mind and a drive of its own and searches for her even when I'm asleep! Sorry I just need to let this stuff out!
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