[BrandyHagz]

Sam,

I placed thru a Nationwide Catholic agency based in Dallas in 1997. I was offered no pre-placement services (counseling, clothing assistance, financial assistance) at any time during my pregnancy, although at one point I did ask for clothing assistance and was offered a tour of their “Maternity closet” that contained a total of about 10 outfits, none in my size (or even remotely close).

Here is where my story may differ a bit from others…I was not offered counseling, nor did I ask for it, because I didn’t believe I needed it and I still don’t believe I would have accepted it if it had been offered to me at any time during my pregnancy.

I am, for the most part, content with the decision I made to place my daughter for adoption. Content because I know I made the best decision I could make given my circumstances at the time…had I known then what I know now, I may not have made the same decision, however, had I not made the decision I did, I most likely wouldn’t be where I am today…

For me, being able to get past the “what could have been’s” and “what if’s” has played an important role in my ability to deal with the loss that I suffered by making the adoption plan.

No doubt, ever woman (and man) who places a child for adoption feels some level of loss…some are never able to get past it, while others are able to deal with it head on and heal…

I support, wholeheartedly, pre-placement services being offered, on a mandatory basis, to expectant parents considering an adoption plan. What I don’t support, however, is those services being offered by agencies who have a vested interest in the outcome of the pregnancy. I think, a good place to start, is requiring agencies to offer counseling and peer-groups to expectant parents considering adoption…but in the grand scheme of things, I’d like to see these services provided by a third party who does not have a vested interest in the outcome.

Good luck with your research, like you, I’d like to see many changes made to the way adoptions are handled in the US…namely, laws that closely police agencies and the way they do business, because in the US, adoption is a business.