The counselor in our situation is also a bmom who placed her son 30 years ago. She has a realistic approach on what these girls are going through. I know the pbmom in our case really likes this counselor so, evidently the way she handled her worked. I think this counselor handles most of these girls or couples this way becuase she has such a knack for doing it without offending. I tell you, it took me back when we discussed the situation.
I really want to emphasize that this counselor is totally non-judgemental about how these girls live thier lives and I think they can feel it when they speak with her. That is the point I guess I was trying to make. Ask the questions you want answers to and don't be afraid to ask. If you don't truely judge someone, if you only need to know the answers so that you can make an informed decision about wanting to adopt this baby, if the pbmom places, than it should be no problem to just be blunt and ask. I don't think there was anything unkind about the way this counselor handled M, the pbmom in our match.