Welcome to the wonderful world of foster care!!!
Everything you've mentioned here is not uncommon (except for the name thing, I've never heard of that but I'm sure it happens). As for the last minute visit thing, I wouldn't go for that. You shouldn't have to sit around and wait for them to call you telling you when to have the baby there for a visit. Bmom should have to schedule and you deserve at LEAST 24 hrs. notice. You REALLY must stand your ground here, especially if you have other children. It's not fair to the foster family to always be in *limbo* waiting on birth parents because alot of the time, parents whose kids are in custody aren't very dependable...not in my experience anyway.
I've never heard of a baby in rehab, but I'm sure others here can give you more info on that.
In TN, it's your right to be at all court hearings and
most DCS meetings for this baby and DCS HAS to inform you when these meetings/hearings are coming up.
Be sure and stand up for yourself...don't let the state perceive you as a "softie" because some cw's take advantage of that!
God bless you and your little baby!