Ok…forgive me if I ramble on a bit. Sometimes it takes me a bit to get my thoughts articulately expressed… I am fairly conservative and have in the past tended to accept the views around me as my own. As a fairly new parent (ds just turned 5 in April) I feel that I am just now learning how to parent..and often wish I could give my right arm to be able to go back and “re-do” my first few months of parenting. (shh don’t tell my sw!
) It seems that life is more about trial and error. That which works for you… you continue to do and you tend to believe in. That which does not work for you…you stop doing and you tend to discount.
That said, the beauty (and sometimes the problem) of our society is that we are a conglomeration of such a wide array of people, beliefs, and backgrounds. Politics, religion, and parenting styles are a few of the issues that I think we can all admit are topics that often we will have to just agree to disagree on. Because of this, our personal backgrounds and experiences often filter or color how we will react to an article or an item of debate. Wouldn’t it be boring if we all held the same beliefs? We might end up being carbon copies of each other and lacking in the very differences that make our eclectic society so successful.
So let me change the item of discussion for a moment to help make my point. What if instead of the presence of religion or spiritual preference we were talking about whether foster parents (or aparents for that matter) were discussing whether it was ok to place a child in a home where the parents did not eat meat. A child placed in this house would likely over time begin to show an affinity towards a more herbivorous diet and may go so far to refuse ever eating meat products again. This child, for whatever reason, is taken from the home and placed in a new circumstance (say a very “traditional” southern home) where the “new” parents are characterized as a “meat and potatoes” family. Will not this child endure some kind of confusion over the change in viewpoints of these different parents? Perhaps the child will have such convictions about their vegetarianism that they express a lack of understanding towards those who do not share their views (especially if this child came from a family that chose vegetarianism because of a animal rights concerns).
Is it right..or wrong to say that foster parents (or aparents) must be carnivores in order to apply for a license? Must the foster or aparents sign a waiver saying that they will not unduly influence the child under their supervision in regards to eating patterns or food choices? I would hope not. Yet I would also hope that the parents would not look to convert the child but simply explain their opinions on the matter, their reasons for the choice and foster an environment to allow the child to make their own decision.
Back to the subject.. I realize that I am quite naïve. Perhaps foolishly so. Yet I think that religion, religious believes or even the belief in no religious entity is a therapeutic couch (perhaps in an un-Freudian manner) for people. When life seems to be overwhelming, religion allows one to reach out to a super-natural being that seems bigger than ones problems and provide big-picture comfort. (..the sky may be falling, but you as an individual are loved, held, and never forgotten. Soon the darkness will pass the brilliance of the sunrise will symbolize the re-birth of a new day, a new chance to try again) In my life, I would never dare “convert” anyone to my beliefs, yet if you ask me what I believe, I will most assuredly tell you ..and give examples as to why it works for me. Besides why would I want to forcibly require anyone to share a similar belief as me? If someone shares my opinion simply out of requirement but not out of conviction …does that person really believe what I believe? All I have really done is perpetuate a type of communism.
Any child that might in the future be placed with me will no doubt hear about my beliefs on life. To deny this child these discussion is to deny myself to this child. My beliefs are part of who I am. If I am nothing else to this child, I must be myself. They will hear why I believe in God and why I receive such comfort from this. YET I cannot and will not force them to hold the same beliefs that I share. … ok trying really hard to bring my thoughts to a point and struggling so forgive me. Are we not a product of our environment? Do we not often confirm our beliefs based on those around us (either we agree with them, or we don’t agree with them?) Is it wrong to deny Christian families an opportunity to foster (or adopt) simply because families before them have abused their influence upon children in their care? Is it wrong to deny any other family (for any other reason) the ability to foster or adopt simply because of their influence upon children in the family?
Sensationalism attracts attention. Christianity seems to draw so many attacks based on the fanatical actions of the few. Take the Pro-Life stance. Many Christians take a stand for Pro Life… yet few would actually protest in front of a doctor’s office. Fewer still would go so far to instill bodily harm against the treating doctor. The ones that do, do so in the name of “Christianity” yet their very actions contradict their own beliefs. Admittedly what these extremists do is deplorable. Yet, if I tell you that I am a conservative Christian who takes a Pro-Life stand… does that mean I should be labeled the same as the extreme fundamentalist? Isn't any child placed in a home going to gravitate to the beliefs and practices of the home they are in? Even if they ulitmately chose a different path, they will likely be accepting of views they were exposed to...and likely disapproving of views that their parents disapproved of? Cannot this extend beyond just religion? Won't it apply to an affinity to a dog over a cat (or no pets at all) To SUVS over hybrid electric cars? To ketchup with a hotdog vs mustard? To sleeping with socks on..or sleeping with socks off? To liking Country music vs Oldies.
I realize that I will likely be flamed for this..yet .. (deep breath and slow exhale) Is it not the extremists that are the root of the issue? Are there really so many “Christians” who are so ignorant and unloving as to shut their hearts and minds to those around them? Ok..now I realize my naivety. Perhaps what I have just described is what my hope for our society turns into…but clearly not where we currently are. For those of you still reading, thanks for your patience as I work through my own feelings via writing.