Congratulations on your match!
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We are overwhelmed with joy and excitement, anxiety and my patience has been pushed to the edge.
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No doubt! And it's only just begun
A few things to think about as you navigate the process. One thing you asked about was why you can't just secure an attorney for her? For one thing, she needs counseling, not only legal representation, and she needs an
independent counselor, one who is helping her consider all her options. If she is not comfortable with the counselor she has spoken with, she has every right to change counselors or agencies. She doesn't
have to go with Catholic Charities just because that is who you have started working with.
As of now, she is only an expectant parent, not a birthmother, so it's important that you realize and support her in making her decision to place or parent until
after the baby is born.
You asked when you could take custody of the baby... That will be up to the expectant mother; she has the right to take the baby home if she wishes. But if she supports it, you can generally take the baby home from the hospital. You would then have to stay in-state until the ICPC clears (that is state dependent but can take as little as two days and up to a month). Until the both parents relinquish, the placement is "at risk", which means that you are taking the baby home with the understanding that she
or the father can at any time for any reason reclaim the baby and parent. If you feel that this is not a risk you are willing to take, then with the mother's consent, the baby could go into foster care during this time.
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We also figured that this would be as easy as us getting an attorney and birth mom signing away her rights
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This really couldn't be further from the truth. It is so much more complicated than this with lots of twists and turns. The agency you are working with should be giving you more information about reading material to help you through the process. Keep reading the many posts here, too, from ALL perspectives. Not only adoptive parents, but birthparents and adoptees, too.
Best of luck!