[ilenewatson]

Hi everyone,

I just received a call from our daughter's birthmom this evening saying that she is six months pregnant (our daughter is only eight months old). I had suspected as much the last time I saw her about a month ago, but I didn't want to come right out and ask her. She told me that she also wants to make an adoption plan for this child, and hinted that she hoped that we could take this baby as well. Unfortunately, our eight-month-old is our third, and by mutual agreement with my husband, final child. We really can't adopt any more children and still be great parents to the kids we have.

With that said, I'm feeling so torn about this whole situation. I feel some sense of responsibility because this is our daughter's sibling and I want to make sure that she goes to a great home. I've talked to a couple from our church who are undergoing infertility treatment right now, but she has severe medical problems that will most likely keep her from conceiving. I called and told them about the situation and told them to think about it and pray on it for a few days and call me back.

My husband and my friend have told me to just leave it alone and let the birthmom work it out on her own, as in finding a family, etc. I am having a hard time letting it go, though. Has anyone been in this situation before? If so, how did you handle it and how did you let go of the responsibility considering it's your child's brother or sister? Any input on this would be ever so much appreciated. I have a wonderful open adoption with our daughter's birthmom, and I really think that's why she called me to tell me about this and to see if I could help her out as opposed to finding a family that's on the agency's list. Again, any insight or advice would be great.

Thanks,
Ilene