Although I was all ready to reply to KK: Hopefull: I just read your great news!! OMG.. That is so wonderful, you have a new daughter!! It's an amazing and beautiful thing
KK: You are on the right track by identifying what it is that is making you nervous about this placement. It sounds like your PBmom might need to talk to with someone openly (like a pregnancy councellor) and have them communicate back to you what she is feeling. If she is just shy and just has a hard time communicating, this might put you at ease. OR, conversely, will highlight any red-flags. As for your out of pocket expenses you've started, our second PBMom, later birthmom, used state medical coverage, and the adoption agency paid her other expenses while she was in councelling. We didn't actually spend anyting until we took DD home. We were still "at risk" for 6-months, but it was all post-birth. I also agree with Senoke' if you are a person of faith, trust in God, as well as your instincts. She'll have this baby with or without financial support. If she is sending off vibes that she is not really making an adoption plan, but trying to please her ex..hopefully someone can help her discover and articulate what is going on. Prayers and hugs to you.