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Bnsheerose,
I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish it could be different for all of you. It's not fair for them to go back on their word and keep siblings apart after wanting you all in her life.
Many things may be going on.
1. They could be busy and have no idea how much their lack of contact hurts you. Many adoptive parents believe that a reminder of the baby hurts the birthparents and try to back off to give you healing time. After backing off, sometimes it's difficult to get close again.
2. Lifetime movie syndrome. As the others have posted.
3. They could have listened to their ignorant friends and actually think that you are a threat to them. People are constantly trying to correct me in my open adoption insisting that they know better than I do what those horrible birthparents are capable of doing. I laugh in their faces and walk away. But people really do debate me on how wrong open adoption is. It would be easy for someone to be swayed if they were not sure of their decision or secure in their position of parent.
What can you do? Write them a letter telling them how much you look forward to updates to open the door a little. Aspenhall gives a great example of how to do that and what to include. Post your letter here, or Private Message several of the people to double check it for you if you are a little uncomfortable with sending it or afraid of hurting feelings.
The adoptive parents made promises they did not keep. That isn't right for anyone to do. Your children deserve to know each other, and you deserve to know your daughter.
Peggy
Adoptive mom to two boys.
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