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Debbie, First off big hugs to you and for having patience, because I would not have. First off either call your sister or send her a letter and give her definitions of the adoption lingo. Tell her that you as adoptive parents (no matter whose aparents) are the "real parents". Second I would have got up with the birthday card in front of the bmom and tossed it in the trash!!! Sorry that just really burns me that they cannot be respectful of your wishes. Then restate the way to sign the cards. Okay so it is too late to do that, but call her, send her a letter and tell her that if she can't sign the cards the way that you have asked then please don't send them. I am sorry about being so blunt, but obivoulsy that is how it has to be with some people who just don't get it.
Hope things get better for you soon.
Carole
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