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KK,
Seems like you are taking a good approach.
I have dropped out of the conversation for a couple of months because it was to difficult to re-hash such a painful subject. Proceed with caution and trust your instincts. Let the pbm know that you are excited about the adoption prospect but that she needs to be true to her heart. If she can't put the child up for adoption, that fine, it is better to know now rather than later.
Have you considered a potential foster placement until the legal risk period is over and would that be something that you could use to initiate conversation with the pbm? Not to force her hand but to help her understand that without a clear unwaivring commitment from her that you need to protect yourself. Just an idea.
My prayers are with you.
Curtis
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