[Crane13]

Has anyone ever fostered siblings and then had them moved after a long time so that the siblings can be together? I am not sure if our agency is just being plain mean or what, but they have us pretty scared. They called and said that they would not give us a placement that we were contacted about because we have two seperate sib groups in our home. (two are from a group of five, and in three total homes, and one is from a set of two in 2 total homes...) So anyway, we have had all of these kiddos for ten months. One of the kids is even borderline RAD. Another move could be really bad for him. The kids are happy with us and us with them. They are in school and really thriving. And now there is talk of moving them to a home where they can be with sibs. We even signed permanancy committments. All of the foster moms are friends and we get together frequently. These kids know each other and even go to church together. I am just wondering if this is normal. People from the agency are not really telling us anything right now... even to the point of being avoided. I am just scared for my kids. I always thought that I would foster and adopt forever. I thought I would lose the kids to their family or a relative. And I was prepared for that and even can support that. But I never thought that I would lose the kids inside the agency to another foster or adoptive home! And all of the homes that have the sibs would like to adopt them. I just don't understand this. And this might put us out of the foster care system for good. This is very painful and I don't know if I can do it again.

It seems to me that the families that the agency likes are the ones that don't get attached and are fine with the kids moving or what ever. Then those of us who are committed to making a home for foster children are the ones who get burned. Is this why so many older foster children have attachment disorder?