hi wenrl
wow.....alot going on in your end.
i would defintily wait till you settle in your new home. when we moved, we had to prove that the boys will be coming with us also. they really never experienced that before, that when the 'parents' move, the kids come to.
ill never forget the day of the actual move...mind you, we did alot of rituals before the move.
we said a prayer at dinner and each talked about what we will miss about the old house and what we all were excited about with the new home
we each put something special in one box and packed it up, and that box was coming with us...
you get the idea...we thought we were all set until the day the trucks pulled up...
not what i anticpiated........my kids didnt want anything of theirs to go in the truck..they wanted to keep it with them...etc...it was a nightmare....
thats the backdrop of how unsettling a move can be for some of our kids.
now, to answer your question....as you know, we had to tell our sons about their siblings that we knew about.
what we did, to ease the blow, was these words...
"guess what, we have some great news for you, we found out that you guys have two other brothers...etc"
basically, we put a spin on it, the topic wasnt how we came to know, or when we knew, or who i talked to, or wrote to....
it was just that....good news.
it worked like a charm, the boys were thrilled......
i would suggest that when you guys settle in...you just might want to keep it simple as for her not to worry about where the information came from...
just say "l got some great news, your grandmother wrote us a letter"...and then read it. IF she asks questions, then answer them honestly.
i know what its like to have information for our kids about their birthfamilies, and we want to tell them everything we know (as long as its appropriate).....and then not telling them is the worst feeling.......I remember it was killing me on the inside.
i think you will know when its the right time to tell...but i would keep it a 'matter of factly...good news'
let her ask the questions.
anyway, thats my two cents, thats what we did, and it worked great...my older son had some questions, which was great, and we were able to answer them, on the ones we knew....
anyway, keep us informed on how it went.