[momofmykids]

Hi,
I know my situation is different from yours because we got most of our children at a much younger age. However, we talk about their bmom, N, quite frequently. She calls on occasion and I always tell the kids that she called. (Our kids came through foster care and I went out on my own and found bmom). I think to do it in a matter of fact way, "that was N on the phone, she was just calling to check on you guys" or "which of these pictures would you guys like to send to N?" something like that makes the kids feel really comfortable and not so "different" because they're adopted and they don't feel like she is super stressed, either. Bottom line, if you act like it's a major thing, then they will, too, and, in my opinion, be more inclined to worry. If you just mention it like it was your sister calling to check in, then they don't see it as super serious.

I know our situation is a little weird (but it's the way we like it). My kids have no physical contact with N and they do not talk to her on the phone (she's way too unstable for that), but I really think it makes them feel good to know that she and I (and her sister) stay in contact with each other.

Just my opinion.

God bless!