|
The right time? Hmmm, I would think the right time would be when you feel emotionally able to handle any possible backlash from her. I agree with the "no secrets" idea, and in encouraging contact with the birth family, as long as it's appropriate. The issue is that you don't have any idea how she'll react, so you have to be ready for anything. If I were about to move, adding another question/potential problem isn't something I'd want to take on - I'd wait until we were settled in the new place.
We have contact with my son's birth grandmother and siblings - extremely close contact with one sister. The birthmother, however, is another story, we have no contact at all. The social worker did give me a letter B-Mom had written to C, when she found out he was to be adopted - completely inappropriate, full of blame, shame and guilt - and a few pictures of herself. I copied the pictures and gave him the copies (he was into destruction at the time, and I didn't want him to ruin originals) - and put the letter and the original pictures in my safe deposit box. It's there for him, either when he gets curious about her, or when he turns 18. No secrets, really, just information he doesn't need/can't process right now.
This is pretty wordy, but I'm working my way around to saying that, if it were me, I'd wait awhile and get settled in the new place first. Congratulations on the adoption, and I do think the openness with the birth family will work out for the best!
|