[wenrl]

Hello All,

We've had a lot of great changes since the last time I posted. There's one I'd like some advice on however.

After T. was adopted in April, I made a point of finding and contacting her birth grandmother who raised her and attempted to contact her mother, whom T. knows almost nothing about and cannot remember. I really wanted this for T. because I believe it will help her feel that we accept her entirely, past and present, birth family with problems or not. Also, I do not feel that these members of her family are dangerous or entirely to blame for T.'s removal. I have a lot of sympathy for them and all that they have lost and the problems they have had. Also, I know that T. will always love them and I want T. to feel a connection to them and know that they love her too. I want T. to be happy.

So, I sent letters with a return address to my brother's business P.O. Box out of state. T.'s birth grandmother and aunt responded almost immediately and were so grateful. I really feel that I did the right thing and that this will be good for T. In their letters they thanked me for contacting them and said that they had worried about T. everyday and missed her. They thanked us for loving T. and taking care of T. and adopting T. and giving them the opportunity to know how she is doing. They told us that they would leave the amount of contact to us, because we know what is best for T. but they would love to hear from her and her birth cousins would like to send her letters too if it's okay with us.

I think this will make T. so happy and relieve some of her worry. She often wonders if her grandmother is sick or dead. If her mother is in prison or sad or dead. I really want to share these letters with her and allow her to respond to them if she likes. We worry about several things though...

We just bought a house and are about to move to another town (4 miles away, a block from the town we live in now but still). We worry that this new information combined with a move will confuse or frighten her or cause some additional stress. Then I wonder if it will help her, because it is one last thing to worry her. She'll know that her grandmother is fine and loves her dearly.

I think about telling her everyday and really want her to know, but I don't know how or if it is the right time. Is there ever a right time? She's been with us a year and seems to be attached, but will this make her less attached to us because she'll feel conflicted or will it make her more attached, because she'll know we don't mind sharing her love with her birth family and want her to be happy?

Opinions?