[Amykk]

Most children adopted from Guatemala have been able to bond to a fostermother or other caregiver and so then can bond again to the parents. In some other countries I think there might be more problems with bonding issues - I think there is a separate section on the forum for attachment issues - you might want to check that out. As far as keeping the adoption a secret I think that's impossible and definitely not advised. Most domestic adoptions are open and most kids who are adopted internationally are going to figure out that they're adopted. It is best to be truthful from the start. There is also a section of this forum for adoptees that I think is helpful for potential adoptive parents to read and look at from your potential child's perspective. There are also many many good books about raising adoptive children that might be helpful for you and your husband to understand some of the issues including bonding and how to talk to your children about adoption.