[CordeliaS]

Hello all! I guess I should just get into my problem... ever since I was in my early teens I've had my heart set on adoption... I'm not really sure why... I guess I wanted to give a child a loving home. However, my husband doesn't want to adopt a child because he's afraid we'll have bonding issues, that maybe the child will not accept us as his or her parents, or that other people will not accept us as a family. I personally don't really care what other people think about our family, and I'm sure we will bond just fine. I know even parents with biological children might have difficulty bonding at first, but it's eventually overcome. Now I don't want to adopt a child unless my husband is comfortable with it, but I need to know if there has been issues between people and kids who they adopted (internationally). Also, my husband said that if he were to adopt, he'd want to keep it a secret. I'm against that because I wouldn't want the child to feel betrayed if he/she ever found out. So if the child looks biologically like ours... how likely is it that they'd find out they're adopted? I know this is long... and it's mostly a long ramble... but I'm confused and I feel my dream of adopting a child is slipping through my fingers. Any help/adivce would be greatly appreciated.