[Dianna]

Hi Jayden's Mom, It sounds like you are in a tough position. I have found that good communication and clear strategies work well. I usually write things down and then remove anything negative or offensive. It is also a good idea to prioritize people to deal with. I would then communicate clearly with your sister.
- "When you say ___, I feel ___".
- "The agreement is for our adoption. Legally, we are the parents. When you refer to our child as your son's, it will be confusing to him. When you act like we are not the primary people in his life, you undermine our entitlement to parent to the best of our ability."
- "I am sure you do not want to cause this child any pain or confusion. I need you to support us in raising him. I need you to present the people in his life in an appropriate way."

These are just some ideas. Before you try to communicate, you may want to decide what your options are if your sister, her son, or the birthmom do not honor your requests or choose to disregard your feelings. You may also want to decide what support systems within your family are available to you if you just have to put up with it. Best wishes and good luck.