[tobeafamily]

Hi Debbie,

Well it's true what they say "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt". I think your son's biological parents and biological grandparent are grieving. Denial is a stage of this - the "This isn't really happening" stage.

First, be patient. Jaden knows exactly who his parents are despite what anyone says. I can say it probably will be devistating the first time his biological parents/grandparents call themselves 'mommy', 'daddy' or 'grandma' and your two or three year old will quite adamently say "you're not my XXX". Or when they cry for mommy and only want you, not them.

I do think you need to talk with your aunt about some things, especially since it appears she's pretty adament about her and her son's 'role'. Perhaps though you should bring in a 'neutral' third party to help? Someone like a religious leader, counselor trained in adoption issues, etc. Remember she is grieving and may be embarrassed too about her son's 'failings'. Her way of coping is to ignore them and pretend it isn't happening. A counselor may get y'all out of confrontation and into healing.

Lastly, be secure in who you are to Jaden. It truly doesn't matter what others say, because to Jaden it's irrelevant.

Hang in there.

Regina