[drama mama]

I often say now (my kids are 10, 9, 7, 4) that my sister could live in our basement and my kids could see her EVERY day but she still wouldnt be "mommy". It wouldnt threaten me (unless she tried to discipline or take over my role as "mommy"). In the same way, visits with birthparents, letters and phone calls dont take anything away from me. My kids KNOW who their parents are -- and it has not so much to do with title as it does with the day-in, day-out constantness of contact. Its relationship building.

I have thought about this statement for the past two days.. It has helped. I know when I see the birthfamily with my child I am not threatened.. I rejoice in being able to share our child with them...etc..
I know I am the mommy.. But the legal issues, lies, betrayal demage to our relationship.. brings out fears and stress beyond compare...
Things I would usually rejoice over I cringe because of the lack of trust... Because of all this mess.
Thanks for giving me a broader perspective. You are right when our son is 3 years from now, etc.. This will not be an insecurity in our lives...
However, walking out the first six months establishes the roles within the relationship We are trying to define our roles... Discover what will work for our family...Thus the reason for the discussion ..
Thanks again