[MissyAmomChina]

Hi,

I've been wanting to bounce a few questions off of this group. I know I'm too wordy at times so I'll do my best to keep this simple. I think things have gone really well in the bonding department with Lilianna esp. considering I didn't travel. I've practiced some of the bonding techniques recommended on attachhina.org. We've monitored her and done the checklist etc. Every now and then I've had a few questions. However, overall, I
think her bonding and attaching has gone really well.


I noticed around the 5 month home mark our relationship seemed to get deeper. Well, around 3 weeks ago we seem to have had another change. Lilianna seems extremely into me----almost obsessed with
being with me. She's not anxious to be around other people and she is happy to interact with others. However, it seems like her interest has suddenly focused on me. Here are some examples, she used to happily sit next to me and play--now she must sit on me and
play. She would play at a playground and frequently check in----now she only wants to do things that I do with her. She would participate in her baby gymanstics class--now she wants to be held and watch the other kids. She used to play for a 1-2 minutes if I
went to the kitchen--now she's one step behind me if I go anywhere. She used to sit in her chair at a meal and interact with everyone --now she only wants to sit on my lap at meals and interact with everyone. We've had some "velcro" baby days before. However,
they usually tied into not feeling well from colds, teething etc. This has been going on for about 3 weeks and I don't think she's
sick.

I've asked my friends who are mommies (none them have adopted) and they all say this is a completely typical phase that most kids go
through. I'm asking you all what do you think? Is this a typical phase that all children bio and adopted go through? Is this a phase in bonding with our kids? If so, is a good thing or a bad thing? I guess my greatest worry is that somehow I've not meet Lilianna's
needs and now that why I'm seeing this major "velcro" baby phase.


Lastly, this is how I'm trying to deal with it. For the most part,I can hold her and meet her need (I'm off on summer break--so it's all mommy all the time) I'm encouraging her to participate in activities but not forcing her too. I am taking some scheduled breaks every evening when Bill is home so I can have an hour to myself. Is this how you all handle it? Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance for any input.

Take care,
Melissa