[tobeafamily]

K,

It sounds like a red flag that she's not committing - not sending any positive verbal or nonverbal signals to that point. This woman has not looked you calmly in the eye and said, clearly and definitely, Yes, I want you to be the parents of my child. Are you willing/able to offer her some one-on-one counseling? May not be a bad idea.

As for the 'hanging out', we were much the same way with Ryan's bfamily, though it was very comfortable for all of us and we did talk about her pregnancy, etc. often.

My thoughts are this:

You do not have to 'match' or 'connect' with this couple now. I think in your heart you don't quite believe that this woman has committed to this adoption plan, and that's fair of you to believe. I don't think you're being overly sensitve or unreal about this. So take your time.

If it were me, I'd tell them gently that we'd like to give them a little more time and space to be sure this is the right plan for them. I'd offer them counseling and reassure them that this does not mean we're not interested in parenting their child, more that you want them to be sure that's what they want. I would not offer any other financial assistance until you're sure they're committed.

Just my 2 1/2 cents.

Regina