[ilenewatson]

I just wanted to touch on your post about not feeling connected with the baby. I am an adoptive mother to three children, two boys, 4 and 5, and a baby girl, 8 months. Luckily we have never had to endure a failed adoption, and I thank God every day for that. With our daughter we were matched with her birthmom at seven months along and I went to every doctor's appointment, went and visited with her at her mom's house, met her half-sister, and spent a great deal of time with her. In all that time, I never felt a connection to the baby and I kept telling everyone, "If it's meant to happen then it will," but I really wasn't setting my heart on anything yet. The birthmother kept telling me, "I know for a fact I won't change my mind. I know this is the right thing to do and I know I want my baby with you." Even though she told me this every time I saw her, I still couldn't in my heart believe it. Of course, she made the courageous decision to place Asia with us, and now we have a wonderful open adoption.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if I had these feelings and I've never been through the agony of a failed adoption, then your feelings are completely valid and normal. When you finally have that baby, the right baby for you, in your arms with a finalized adoption, all the waiting and stress will seem like a distant memory. My thoughts and prayers are with you.