Hi there Kirsty and others,
I understand how it can be hard to be organised! It used to be hard for me to get ready for work too! However, I've been working from home for a few years, and it's great - I don't HAVE to get ready! All I have to do is make sure I wake up - I can wear my PJs all day if I want, and I can just get my lunch out of the fridge!
The 30 age requirement with China is one of their requirements that they give DOCS (Department of Community Services) for adoptive families. If there's a couple, both don't have to be 30, but one must. As I'm adopting as a single, I have to be 30 to adopt from China. From recollection, they also have a maximum age for infants - maybe 45?
It's tough, becuase I feel almost "called" to adopt from China. Which is why I'm not pinning my hopes on this application that I've just sent in for Colombia or India. I've sent it anyway, because I strongly feel that my child will "find" me, and that maybe s/he is in one of those two countries... But I also have a niggly feeling in the back of my head that if this application goes ahead, once the adoption is finalised, I'll apply again, for China.
So we're both 27! I'm glad to have found others in their 20s on here... It seems that adoption often gets considered by people when they've exhausted all other means of having children and living life - i.e. they've tried getting pregnant the natural way, they've maybe tried a few cycles of IVF, perhaps tried living 5 years with dogs instead of kids, etc, so they're in their mid to late 30s when they start to apply. That's been the experience I've had with adoptive families, anyway...
I'm glad I've made my decision now. I'm sure that one day I'll meet the right guy and settle down with him, but for now, I'm called to have children, and I'd rather do it through adoption than to go through all the hoop-la of convincing a friend to donate me some sperm, or even worse, what a lot of girls around my area seem to do, use the "it's OK honey, I'm on the pill" line...
It seems to happen more than planned pregnancy around here!
I can't believe that you've had such negative experiences, especially with the medical professionals. That makes me crazy when Drs think that because they spent 7 years at med school, they can tell you how you want to live your life! I spent 7 years at uni too, just studying literature and languages! And I don't try to tell people what's best for them!!!
How is your mum going with adjusting to the idea of the open adoption? My mum has always been 100% behind me. When I came (I thought) out of left field and told her last year that I was considering international adoption, I thought she would be very, VERY surprised, but instead she just said "No, that's not very surprising. In fact, it makes sense. It makes perfect sense." While as a kid, I wasn't the one planning how many kids I'd have when I grew up, I've always been 1) a very nurturing person, and 2) very interested in international events/people/cultures, etc (I did a high school exchange in Finland for a year and a university exchange in the USA for a year, and I have friends from those experiences from all around the world).
My dad on the other hand... He thinks it's a terrible idea. That said, he's from a completely separate generation - he's turning 73 this year, old enough to be my grandfather, really. His arguments against my adopting a child were firstly that all children from single-parent families grow up to be irresponsible adults, and blame their lack of motivation and drive on the fact that they only had one parent. I kid you not. He said that and he believes it.
He also REALLY wants me in a traditional family - married, house in the suburbs, 1/4 acre block, stable job, etc. When I bought my townhouse 3 years ago, he was quite upset. He had a glory box of things for me for when I grew up and bought a house, and he gave them to me when I bought it, but it honestly never occurred to him that I would buy a house -
without a husband!!! So it kind of upsets him that I've bought a house and am not married, that I have an "unusual" job, where I work from home, and even worse that I could be
choosing to be a single parent.
Well, in my organising phase that I'm going through now, I've filled out the application forms and written the cheques to join a couple of suport organisations for adoption here in Australia. To adopt from some countries from here, DOCS actually has a requirement that you be in the organisation... I'm going to one of these group's information days in July, too, so hopefully I'll be able to meet some people here in Oz that I can talk to about all this! I'd really like to meet single applicants from Australia, so I can find out what I'm
really in for LOL!
I'm also buying a product called Litter Kwitter, which is designed to train cats to go to the toilet in a human toilet - isn't that a weird concept! I saw it on the TV the other day. We (I rent 2 rooms in my house out to friends) have a toilet in the laundry that none of the people really use, so that's officially going to become the cats' toilet... I know, I know, I am a crazy cat lady... But seriously, how good would it be to not have to deal with kitty litter any more!
Kirsty, I think it's a good idea to have an alternate contact method... I don't know, maybe if we each shared our email address or something? Well, I can give you all my address, and if the site goes down again, you can email me and I can get everyone in contact again? This is not an email address I use often, but I promise you, I'll check it if there's a problem with the site. It's:
cakegirl at phentonne dot com
Well, I'm off for a run now. No, I don't like running. I'm just trying to lose weight. I'm going to the US to compete (I'm a grappler) and I need to drop a weight class. So, for the next 2 months, it's runs, bike rides, salad and fruit for me! Wish me luck!
Talk to you all later,
Rebecca