[Leigh131313]

I am going to offer you some advice. I feel that I am qualified to do so because in MY family, I am butterball.

My mom placed a girl when she was 16. Then she got married and had my brother, after that I was born...her second baby girl, her first to raise.

All of my life i was very aware that I did not measure up for my mom. I had no reason WHY, but i knew this to be true. I was always too fat, too short, too many freckles, and I was such an ugly baby that she " couldnt believe i was really a girl" I spent my entire childhood on "diets" starting at around 4, which lead to some pretty sever eating disorders (didnt realize it at the time) by the time i was about 10. Being a figure skater didnt help, that only exasterbated the issue.

Anyhoo.... I was always very aware that my cousin Kim was perfect. She was taller, skinnier, prettier and nicer. Lucky for our relationship, she and I always got along really well despite how inferior I felt. She was always extra nice to me, compared to our other cousins.. But then, she always knew that she was my biological sister. I did not know til i was 13.

As adults, Kim and I have often talked about our unusual relationship. She always noticed how my mother compared us, and told me that it always angered her seeing what my mom put me through.

Kim was perfect....my brother, perfect.....and i was pretty much one big disappointment.

This is NOT a pitty party for me. I have completely come to terms with my childhood. My mom has some mental issues, so we have a strained relationship, but she is the only mom i have. I am telling you this because I don't think what i went through is that uncommon.

No matter what your baby is....boy or girl....do not make them live their life in someone else's shadow. Please don't make them try to fill the munchkin shaped void in your life. They will not be able to be anything but who they are. Please love them because of that, do not hold it against them.

Leigh