I think fear of feeling what you did last time you were told "it's a girl" makes perfect sense.
You fear you placed "your only girl". I fear I placed the last child I will ever have.
Your post made me think of something that I am ashamed to admit. I have a teenage son that I am parenting. When I was pregnant with my birthson, not knowing my baby was a boy, I hoped he was a boy. I knew I planned to go through with an adoption no matter what the gender of my child. However I have always wanted a girl. I wanted my first child to be a girl. I was thinking it would be even harder in some ways to place a girl. Not that I wouldn't love my child and be in pain at the thought of adoption no matter what the child's gender. I know it would have been just as difficult to follow through with an adoption plan no matter what the gender of my baby.......just another irrational thought to add to yours.
You will be fine no matter what gender your baby Jenna.
Shell