[Casey677]

KK, It sounds like you are starting to heal. Eventually, the good days will out number the bad. As for your letter, I am not sure it would do any good to send it. It might be better to just try to move on.

We also felt very manipulated and used by our little guy's mom. She always had some big crisis we had to fix. I also think that she used us as a way to pay her bills and get CPS off of her back. The agency, lawyers, and social worker all felt the same way. It was very hard. She called the agency a few times after we left to come home saying that she wanted to talk to us and that she didn't think that she could parent after all. The agency told her that she had the lawyer's phone number. If she seriously couldn't do it then she should call the lawyer and we would be on the next plane. She never did. We never spoke to her again. There were many times when it killed me not to pick up the phone and call because I wanted so badly to know how he was doing..... but for my sanity, I couldn't.

We have a had a pretty tough time since all this happened in October. In December, we were so anxious for a little one that we left our selves vulnerable to become the victims of an emotional scam. We wasted two months of our lives dealing with her. Since then, we seem to have put up a wall and we have turned down a lot of situations. We are scared. Last night I talked to an expectant mom and I really like her!!! However, she isn't due until October and that scares me.

I hope that you are able to find peace soon.... that we both will.

Hugs,
Casey