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Originally Posted By traci

i just have a question. okay what i can't seem to understand this. are u this little girl's biological mom? or a relative to the b-mom? i am going through a terrible ordeal right now. i was adopted. okay, now i have a beautiful baby boy. he was born on january 17,2000. he was taken from me bcz someone where i used to live, called C.P.S. on me. and i went to court 3 times. and all 3 times i lost. now i know i am not the most perfect mother in this world. but i did try my hardest. i don't know maybe i should have tried even harder. but that is in my past. i am moving on to the future. well, my adoptive brother got temporary custody to my son. he has moved to montana and won't even let me be a part of my lil' boy's life. at the time, yes i was smoking weed and drinking here and there. and i did want to party. and i am truely sorry for that. at the time, after he was taken from, i didn't know what else to do. so i ended up doing other drugs. which by doing that, landed me in jail a few times. after i saw this lady in jail. she was deaf and had 6 kids, plus a baby on the way. i knew i couldn't let my son become a part of that lifestyle. i had a boy friend in prison. so i decided to let my brother and his wife adopt my son. they have 3 kids of their own. but after i signed the adoption papers in utah, my brother decided to go on vacation with his wife. leaving his 3 kids and my then 7 month old son with me and my parents. ( which is my brother's real parents). so i was finally able to spend soe quality time with my lil' man. at the time, my mom told me that she thought it would be best to not be around him while they were there. but at nite time, he would wake up crying. so me being his b-mom would immediatally get up with him. and i still had my milk coming in. so i thought i'd try. but he only drank for about 1 min. then would cry some more. so i decided to get his formula for him. i even fell asleep with him a few times on the couch. i know he still knows that i am his mom. and we still have this bond. but after spending a lot of time with him, i knew i couldn't give him up. and then when my brother got home and said that they were gonna change his name bcz there were too many brandons in his wife's side of the family. but, honestly, i do not think it is fair. i named him brandon. i think they are disrespecting me as his b-mom. and well a few times already i have changed my mind. now it is back to me wanting him back. i deserve a chance to raising the child i gave birth to. and no body even gave me a chance.
since last year, i am doing wy better. i have a job. i have a boyfrend whom i love very much. and he loves me. we are planning on getting married soon. i have been drug-free for over 9 months now. and i don't even drink anymore. my partying days are very much over. i want to be a mother to my son.
so if u could please. will u please give me some advice. and pointers. i need support and comfort right now. and someone to talk to.
thank you very much
traci..