[GregDeanna]

Hello,

I am an amom of a 19 month year old and have a very open adoption with my daughters biological family. For the very first Mother's Day I didn't know what to do for my daughter's bmom. I was concerned that by sending her a letter or card I would upset her. I didn't know how she would feel. My daughter was born in October so by May she was 7 months old. I thought it would be better for me to just leave it be and I chose not to send her anything. Then I heard that bmom's have their own special day, Birthmom Day, which is the Saturday before Mother's Day. So this year I send her a card made especially for bmom's and some pictures of our daughter. I think as an amom you are concerned about hurting the bmom's feelings and doing something that may cause them more pain, especially the first year.

If I were you I would not think that she is pulling away from you, just that it was her first Mother's Day and that she didn't know what to do for you. I maybe would email her and just see how her Mother's Day was and see if she asks you how you are doing or how it was for you? Then you can mention your feelings and then that way she will know that you would have been ok with getting a card. She may not know that there is a special day for bmom's.

Hope this helps.