Are there many adoptive parents today who do not tell their children they were adopted... ever? Are there social workers who recommend not telling a child, or who would approve a family assessment (homestudy) if the prospective parents said they were never going to tell the child?
Adoptive parents may find themselves in difficult situations when the child has a troubling history, but it's one thing to withhold information about a history and another not to tell the child at all about having been adopted. (And although I say it's one thing not to tell a child about a hurtful, dangerous, potentially damaging history, even then, there are age appropriate explanations that can be developed over time to help a child - as s/he grows to adulthood - to understand even these. For families struggling with talking to children about difficult truths, one of the resources that can help is "Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child" by Betsy Keefer and Jayne Schooler
http://adoptionshop.com/p535/adoptio...ter-child.html)
Is the stigma that once clouded adoption still alive and well? Do people evaluate and consider adopted persons differently? If adopted persons do something better, worse, differently than their peers, are there many people out there (teachers, employers, friends, family) who attribute that to having been adopted?
If, indeed, stigma does exist and critical judgements are made based on someone's status as an adopted person, is hiding the adoption an answer? I'm sure it is for some - since there *are* adoptive parents who don't tell their children, and I wonder about this keeping of secrets.
Let me hear your views.