We had two kids (both boys) and we wanted to try again to see if we'd get a girl. We briefly discussed that we'd not go for four if we got another boy (or more accurately, my wife emphatically stated it, the conversation was brief, just very decisive as well). Once we knew our third child was a boy, we touched on adoption for a girl. Fast forward about two years and I start looking into adoption, however, we're both over the diaper, late night stuff, potty training etc (well, honestly my wife is, I work two jobs so she does 99% of the child rearing stuff - but I am over my wife being exhausted most of the time - sometimes I wish we could switch as she gets a much higher reward from her job then I do
) So we're looking into an older girl to be our daughter. I'm the primary push for this, however, my wife is right along side and we're in this together. She sets the limits to what we're willing to accept in our daughter and she won't let me get a sibling pair of daughters (something about them conspiring together...). Yesterday she was talking to the nursery director at chuch about this and commented that, if she'd let me, I'd adopt a dozen kids and she is right. I see the kids in the foster care system (although right now mostly daughters as that is what we're adopting) and my heart aches for them. I'm already talking about the next adoption after our current oldest (and the daughter will be a little older) exit the home for their higher education/work/life. I'm targeting two more girls after the oldest set leave the house (six kids total) and then I hope my wife and I will be strong enough to handle fostering older children for another decade or so then we move into funding a ministry to support others in adoption and fostering when we're too old to properly parent children.
I have awesome parents (the older I get, the better I realize they are). So many kids can't say the same - I've got an opportunity to provide a loving, caring family for kids and I have a model I can look to so, I hope, one day, my kids will say they have awesome parents too. I was a problem child (according to the rating scales on the states I've read, I would have been classified as moderate or serious emotional problems, which surprised me) my wife is detached from her family so we've got some experience in our background to find some common ground with the children we'd be able to care for.
So when did I first know - I'm not sure. The more I read - especially the negative stuff - the more I am certain adoption is for us. It became a reality about two months ago when I went from casually mentioning it to starting the process. I've got tons of prayer warriors lifting our family up to the Lord and I pray over my family and pray over my future daughter.