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Our first child was adopted as an infant from Korea...and though we asked for any info, we were given none.
She is now well into adulthood. We have talked about adoption since she was placed in our home; and she was always told the truth.
While she asked some basic (and I mean, basic) questions and made some references to 'being adopted'.....there was never any big 'sit-down discussion about the 'why'......though we have always told her we had nothing in regards to biological beginnings.
I think sometimes, that parents---though they should be prepared-----are also given the impression that their adopted child will wonder and feel horrid by not having tons of info to share with them.
Today, her comments are quite different than the comments you might read about on some boards. She has no desire to search, she feels 'no loss'....but does feel that people who do search, may be getting more than they wanted in regards to what they find out. She has told me, that in some ways, she is grateful for 'not knowing'.
I fully believe, that how your child asks, and behaves and feels about being adopted--whether there is extensive bio info or not-----has a lot to do with how you bring that child up to feel within your family.
I'm not saying that there won't be questions; but I think you have little to worry about, as long as you relay the full truth. In my readings and discussions, the concept of adoption is often influenced by the way the adoptive family presents itself to the child.
Treating adoption as a joyous way in which the child entered his/her family; and a completely 'open door' in regards to questions and such, will go quite far as your child gets older, IMO
Sincerely,
Linny
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